Report no 3 from the field of dreams

The third instalment from a football team rapidly heading in the wrong direction in their league table:

Football’s merry men, the H&K’s Booze Hounds, strutted their increasingly questionable stuff in their latest game last night against Skinners FC 2000, battling back to earn a tough 7-7 draw against one of the most physical teams in the league.

Early dropouts meant that the squad was down to its bare bones prior to the game, though thankfully two ringers were found during the day, meaning that Theo Walcott missed out on yet another squad for the summer.

The game started at a frantic pace with Battersby diving in with his customary snaps at opponents’ ankles and Jones doing his best as always to test out the softness of the floor by hitting the deck regularly. Chambers meanwhile took the first watch in goal, a place he would occupy twice more in the second half as the effects of several bank holiday barbecues began to take hold.

Despite some good early play and plenty of the ball, the Hounds somehow found themselves 2-5 down at half time; the quick pressing and uncompromising physical style of the Skinners clearly a factor in throwing the Hounds off the scent. However, Jones was ordered off the leash for the start of the second period and having parked himself up front proceeded to hold the ball up expertly time and again, allowing others to flood onto it.

Rallying the score to 5-5, the Hounds took a momentary breather and quickly found themselves down 5-6, a mistake replicated following yet another equaliser. With time running out, and the contest becoming increasingly fractious, the Hounds summoned one last attack, yet more intricate link-up play from Jones and a smashing finish to level at 7-7.

And with that, the game was over. Mid-table mediocrity beckons with only a few games left, though a top three finish remains in sight if a late season surge can be secured.