I spent Wednesday evening in the company of three twenty-something ladies discussing one of the subjects most feared (and most avoided) by men - the menstrual cycle. (Any men reading this, be brave and keep going - it's hopefully worth it!)
More specifically, I spent the evening hearing about how a simple lack of painkillers led to what I can only imagine was an intensely painful couple of hours in a Costa Coffee.
One of the beautiful, but ultimately frustrating things about humanity is that having two sexes means you can never compare certain things. This is one example of it - I'll never know what it feels like to have that sort of pain, and similarly, women will never know the exact, sick, sort-of hollow feeling that men experience when they get one in the 'gentlemen's area'.
In a similar way, the majority of women will never know what it feels like during those agonising 5 minutes where you're waiting at the altar praying she hasn't come to her senses and done a runner - and men will never know the stress of being a bride before and on your wedding day.
Nevertheless, in an attempt to help me understand her pain, I was informed that it would feel like someone grabbed 'down there', twisted it into a figure of eight, and then kept on twisting - in a simple word, ouch!
I did learn a few useful things through all this though:
1. Despite my reservations, champagne bars are actually quite nice, relaxed places to enjoy a drink - provided they're not in the Square Mile or Canary Wharf.
2. Shaftesbury Avenue is absolutely the worst place to have some sort of medical ailment - because there isn't usually an English speaking person in sight amongst the sea of tourists.
3. I never, ever, ever want to attempt to recreate the feeling of pain that was described to me, and especially not if it involves figures of eight of any kind.
4. Women have been, remain, and forever will be, the ultimate resource and learning hub for all male-kind - Wikipedia just can't compete on vital knowledge which can help men navigate the tricky, knife-edge world that is womenhood.
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2 comments:
I have to say - I felt so sorry for you after you heard that story. You were white. There are some things I suspect men never really need to know, and that may well have been one of them.
And wherever there's champagne - Soho, Square Mile or Canary Wharf - there's fun to be had.
Fact.
Not at all - I'll take it as a learning experience, albeit a tough one. Besides, the white thing was probably more a result of genetic 'Northernness' than anything else!
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