The Apprentice Awards - Week Four

Week Four and the obligatory Dragon's Den task for the candidates. We're in the mid-season lull at the moment before the rush of excitement that stems from the wind-up to the interview week but nevertheless, this week featured some memorable moments, not least the brilliantly sulky depature of Mount Fuji-haired Melissa. She was undoubtedly useless, but for her mouth alone she'll definitely be missed.

The Frontrunners – it’s still got to be Jamie and Stella, despite little wobbles for them both this week. Stella’s still quietly effective, whilst Jamie’s smug face only dimished slightly as he breezed the boardroom.

Farewell to The Mouth – so much that could be said about Melissa but I’ll keep it to the minimum possible with just two gems. Firstly, the term ‘hard sell’ just doesn’t do her justice – three times she was told ‘we don’t do showerheads’ and still she kept going like a Jack Russell on heat.

Also, the surefire quote of death, ‘I do this for a living’ on pitching new products. Right, do you also irritate people to the point of chronic eczema?

Death of TheBrand? WHERE HAS HE GONE? In the space of three weeks Stuart Baggs has been reduced to biting into shower heads in a vain effort to fix them for the pleasures of a mid-sized retailer. His hair’s been cut, his vocal chords have disappeared into his stomach and he’s become a 21 year old gimp. Jesus boy, man up and dig your balls out of the coffin.

The new dark horse – streaking ahead in the ‘investment banker’ (cough cough) stakes, it turns out Liz is something of a king in the pitching stakes. Has she catapulted herself into the Jamie/Stella league?

Pitch of the week – he’s been at it again has banker Chris. Still as dour as a doorknob, and also entirely dependant on notes? It’s not secondary school boy. Uber-cucumber Nick Hewer summed it up with the killer phrase, “like listening to a low flying bomber coming home”.

Outfit of the week – Little to write home about this week on the fashion front, so instead we’ll have a little joke out of the sheep shearing that PR man Alex and former Brand, Stuart, ‘enjoyed’ between last week and this.

Lost in the ether – gripping firmly onto this award it’s Sandeesh. Still commanding the shadows although she finally secured a deal traipsing around in the rain in Soho. Well done love.

The Crowning of the Little Princess – on the verge of tears again this week as Paloma briefly laid into her, little Laura came out fighting, grimly clasping her empty order book until the end. It’s the team right Laura? Oh no, wait, hang on, it’s about your 22 year old self and your little scrap of paper with one solitary order on it.

Quote of the week – Nick’s effort above was close, but because it’s her finale, the last award tonight goes to Melissa for this little gem of the English language - “There was no room for manoeuvrement”. Indeed.