Public speaking

I had to do some public speaking this afternoon, presenting some recent work during a company meeting. As far as I can see, there are two general and two case-specific problems with this kind of public speaking:

1. Presenting to people you don't know is often a whole lot easier than people you do know.
2. Presenting to people on a Friday afternoon really isn't easy. When those people have also supped their first beer of the day, it doesn't get any easier.
3. Presenting to people at any time on any day really really isn't easy when the subject matter is as unsexy as 'pensions'.
4. Our bar, where the presentation happened, is really the wrong way round for public speaking. Instead of 15 rows of 6 people or thereabouts as is traditional, you're faced with 3 rows of 30 people.

Of these, perhaps the biggest concern was no 4. Because of this particular problem, you're faced with the mammoth task of constantly having to move your head slowly across a vast expanse to address everyone - it's just not possible. You either do it too fast, so it looks as if you have some mild form of tourettes, or too slow, in which case you never quite make it and some people are frankly left disappointed (even if it is on pensions).

And finally, there's the other problem with public speaking. You have a microphone. These things just aren't a naturally occuring or naturally resident thing for most people and it's amazing what holding one does to you. Little utterings that normally reside inside your head suddenly spurt out without control.

And then there's the really bad thing about them which I discovered this afternoon. This could be the most important tip of all time for fellow microphone holders. Whatever you do, never, ever, ever laugh into a microphone because the result is frankly scary.

So there we have it, public speaking 101. Or at least something like it.