Squash

Squash, a stupid game really, but damn fun if you stick at it, and also pretty handy for keeping your fitness levels somewhere near the benchmark known as 'acceptable' rather than 'diabolical'.

I've just joined a squash ladder in Bristol, which essentially is an ongoing competition to see who's the best, who's the worst, and who's the generally indifferent. I've never actually come across the term 'ladder' in any other sport except squash, even though it essentially is a league table with a couple of tweaks in the rules.

But that's not my real problem with the ladder. My issue is the fact that I'm the only player who lives more than 1 mile away from the squash court we play on - in fact, I live approximately 200 times further away than any other player and probably something like 100 times further away than all of them combined.

Now that's a bit of an issue, especially if I'm not as good as they are at squash - if I lose lots, and find myself at the bottom, then I'm going to have far less opportunities to climb back up. I could be forever marooned on the bottom rung, the bloke who everyone steps on to begin their journey to squash stardom (it's a bit like those poor bastard boxers who get the crap beaten out of them each fight - only difference is, they still get a pay cheque out of it).

There is a flip side though. If I play it right, select only a couple of key matches, and manage to fluke a win in them, then I could be sitting pretty on top of the ladder and be sufficiently far away never to have to play again.

And with that in mind, I'm off to find a squash court that's not 200 miles away to get some practice in...